Tribal Dance

        The hungry moon spilled over the darkened water, the sky an echo of mystery yet uncovered.  This luminous orb traveled slowly, manically, enlightening each new plot of land and sea in its midst.  The moon gradually lifted its head across the island to the ominous cave dwelling.  The paintings displayed on its rocky canvas started to slowly separate from the wall.  Some headed towards the water, and others towards the fire to honor the Messenger.  She communicated to the tribe with the use of his vocal chords while others gathered around with their instruments to worship the Gods above.
         The boats returned from their nightly fishing hunt with the sacrifice that keeps them protected and in good graces with the Gods.  The largest fish was put atop the stony altar as the winning fisherman beat the golden drum.  the waves slowly crashed behind it, dragging the glorious sacrifice back into the sea and up to the hungry Gods.
         The moon guided the tribe back to their rock dwelling as she hid herself behind the bright sun.  As they settled back into their rocky cave wall for their daily slumber, they couldn't wait for her guidance the next night to begin the ritual again.

New story...any thoughts?

My New Reality

It’s incredible what our minds are capable of with impending death looming upon our shoulders. I’ve tried every way I can think of to kill myself. I’ve done it all really: slitting my wrists, hanging myself, taking too much Aspirin, jumping in front of a car, shooting myself, and jumping off a building. Nothing seemed to work. Every time, something went wrong and I ended up back in the Emergency room; I was on a first name basis with the nursing staff. Something I will never understand is how someone that is so determined to end his life can keep screwing up and living, I guess God had other plans for me. One of the nurses, Daisy, always seemed to look at me with pain in her eyes. Maybe she understood that I wanted nothing more than to be with my wife again, but this poor woman could do nothing but bandage my torn arms and watch as I tried to destroy my life all over again.

One afternoon, Daisy found me sitting on the edge of my bed, holding a picture of Susan and crying. I pleaded with her to just help me die.

“Mr. Smith, would you like to see your wife again?” I looked at her like she had just taken my heart and used it as a yo-yo. “Come on.” She grabbed me by the arm and led me down the hall to the dim-lit locker room.

“The medicine man told me this will help you. I don’t want to see you suffer anymore.” She handed me a clear, paper like tab and told me to put it on my tongue, then she led me back to my bed and left me with my mind. I wanted to believe this mystical medicine man could help me, but after all my failed attempts, I just didn’t have much faith. I lay on that bed for what felt like hours before I decided nothing was going to happen and I stumbled over to the bathroom. I threw some cold water on my face and stared in the mirror.

“Hello Bill.” I spun around only to come face to face with my beautiful wife. “I hear you’ve been looking for me.” I could only stare, dumbfounded at what lie before me and think that finally, something had gone right and I could now join her in Heaven.

“You don’t know how long I’ve been trying to get to you.” She floated back with me over to the bed, but when I turned around, she was gone. All that was left was a globe of light that kept floating closer and closer. I yelled but only moths escaped my silent mouth.

Daisy appeared at my bedside carrying a syringe and the next thing I saw was darkness.

“Mr. Smith? Mr. Smith are you awake?” Daisy was shaking my arm and as I opened my eyes, I realized I was back on that dreadful hospital bed.

“I thought you said that shit would get me to my wife, but I’m still here!”

“Sir, did you see your wife last night?”

“Ya, but I–“

“Then it did its job.” With that she smiled briefly and once again left me to my thoughts.

That night, I made sure none of the nurses were around and I snuck back to Daisy’s locker. I grabbed the small, tin box full of tabs and made a quick dash back to my room. I began to take one after to the other and reality ceased to really interest me. The fog began to encroach upon my mind and I no longer sat upon that bed.

I think I was floating, if you could call it that above the clouds near Heaven and those pearly gates. Susan was waiting with her wings outstretched and one hand through the gate. I floated up towards her and just as my fingertips reached hers, I was ripped back towards my bed, only this time, I wasn’t lying on it. I was staring at myself with tubes and wires coming from every which way as the nursing staff tried to revive me.

I hurried back over to the mirror in hopes of seeing Susan again, to get back to Heaven and finally live my life but what I saw couldn’t have been further from that. I could see the wires, outstretched, dancing in the peaceful light. In an instant, they went from being mesmerizing to terrifying as they tried to wrap themselves around my neck. I fought hard to rip them off, but I could feel as they began to tear away at my flesh. I finally broke free and looked at the damage in the mirror; there was nothing there, not the tears or blood stains, yet I could still feel the excruciating pain. I lashed out at the mirror for lying to me and as I punched, it shattered to the floor in pieces. Almost instantly, I could feel my hands splitting from the glass and the blood rushing from my veins, but again when I looked down, nothing but pain.

The flood gates opened as I began to think what of what I had ever done to deserve this, but those tears weren’t water. The taste of iron soon filled my mouth and I realized blood was falling from my eyes. I could do nothing but watch helplessly from a far. Now a captive to my own mind, the drugs had their fingers laced tight and wouldn’t let go. Try as I might to get back to my body and just die, they had other plans

16 Links

The heart has its reasons

whereof reason knows nothing.

16 silver links,

all held together with uncertainty and fear.

Just a simple impulse

but it's gotten the wheels turning once again.

I will try to do the same but

don't try to change me,

fit me,

be my better half

Beginning of my novel

Any thoughts?

Once upon a time is said to be the biggest cliché, only reserved for fairytales. We are taught that love is the most precious bond any heart can make to another. It’s what we strive for in life and once we achieve it, everything else is supposed to fall into place. But what happens when our expectations aren’t met, when our fairytale doesn’t turn out like we’d hoped, when happily ever after just doesn’t apply to you?

An Epiphany at Daybreak

A mind that has no voice,

and a heart that speaks too loud,

a turn of events led to an epiphany at daybreak.

It was not a dream,

our lips did indeed meet in that pure darkness.

We are all just star dust,

floating around

and eventually, entangling with another,

that is love.

I know this now:

that I am not alone,

but your mind is not yet ready to see just me,

will it ever be?

I still yearn for that touch that

can send my skin ablaze.

I hope that you see that every word

that spilled from my pen and

poured from my mouth

meant nothing.

I cannot stand by what i wrote

once upon a time

when anger still pulsed through my veins.

I can only ask that you listen

to my actions now

and make up your mind.

To have a broken heart means

that you have tried for something...

I guess that means my heart should be shattered

on the floor,

but I intend to pick it up and fight for what I want

until the day breaks and that fight slowly dwindles

with the sun.

Last post of 2010

Untitled

My soul still steams with a burning passion

for your touch.

The memories hang like metal

feathers around my neck.

The ache that pains in the pit of my stomach

churns at the thought of you.

1 day-

24 hours

to figure out whatever pulses through your veins.

The clock will strike 12 on the first of the year,

and I wish for your lips

to be the ones I kiss.

The countdown has begun

but once that number reaches zero,

I will push past.

No matter the pain

I will push past.

You will no longer control my mind...

you will lose me forever.

A Boy Who Fell Too Fast

I'm sorry I can't be who you want me to be,

and I'm sorry you can't have my heart.

It's still in the clutches of another

sealed tight behind bars.

Try as i may, the lock just won't break

and I don't know how long it will be until

it is free.

I'm not perfect,

far from it believe it or not

but I feel like you can't see that.

Love has blinded your eyes,

wrapped its fingers around your mouth,

driven you silent.

I don't deserve you,

not yet anyway.

I'm too broken to be fixed

with just tape.

Stand back and see what he did

to my heart,

you'll realize it's only half there

and I need that half to keep

my own sanity to keep living

for happily ever after.